In the midst of waiting for my results from testing for a clinical trial I am participating in, I am very (extremely) worried about them. I don't know why I am. I guess the nervous feeling that I may have additional melanoma in other areas internally, despite having a scan less than 6 weeks previously. My husband keeps on insisting that I have nothing to worry about but I feel like I have everything to worry about. What if I have tumors elsewhere?
Now, I am in a state of constant paranoia. I am frightened of the possibility of being upstaged to even more worse statistical category. I guess I have selfish intentions of desiring to live longer but in my stage of life I have made a lot of the many "life" accomplishments. Find the love of my life, married, had children, purchased a house are all the things I have done. But I still have the desire to live a little longer on this life, I feel that I have even more to give in this life.
I just have to accept that I do not have control.
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