Welcome to my blog about my melanoma experience. I decided that I need to let my feelings put in to words. Maybe I will sleep better at night. The following is my up to date story.

I recently had a dermatologist appointment where I was concerned about a mole on my thigh that morphed on me. The Doc took it out and told me that she would call me about it with lab results. I was thinking okay well at least I got that pesky thing out. Unfortunately, the dermatologist called me two weeks later telling me I have melanoma...

My head is telling me, "Well you have cancer now what..." I was completely at a loss at what to think. Anger, frustration, and the lack of control of what will happen next. Emotions of several kinds were whirring in my head and then I had the genius idea of reading about melanoma on Wikipedia. WOW that was genius?!

The stupidest thing you can do once you are diagnosed with any sort of disease is read about it online. I came to the conclusion that I would be dying with in the next month due to the wonderful news I just encountered. Reading the stats gave me the realization this disease kills. Let me tell you after reading, I had a sleepless night and many to follow. I just kept on thinking in my head I have two kids I want to watch grow up.

The dermatologist referred me to an oncologist which I saw the next week. He told me I need surgery... the type for those technical folk out there is wide excision  and an sentinel node biopsy. I was not really happy on this considering I had never come under the knife other than wisdom teeth being taken out. I think I was more fearful of surgery than childbirth and I have done that twice! Basically, the initial surgery was to see if the melanoma spread to my lymph nodes and to take out my remaining skin by the mole to be ensure all the melanoma is removed. 

Surgery day was surreal. I was scared and frightened and not happy on the prospect of being put under the knife. I had the procedure at brand new hospital that was just opened eight months ago. The nursing staff was wonderful. The testing was horrible to find my lymph nodes they were going to find.  I think the pain with this was worse than the aftermath of surgery. They pick you with 5 shots of some sort of radioactive agent dye to find my nodes. These shots burn. The results came back with one of my nodes having melanoma. The next method of treatment was more surgery followed by immunothearapy.

They scanned me after surgery a couple of weeks later. The PET results showed that the cancer had not spread but was still spreading at the microscopic level.

The next month I had surgery where they removed all the lymph nodes in the infected area and put drainage tube sticking out of my thigh to remove all the excess fluid from my removed glands. I had to spend overnight at the hospital. I was not too excited about the overnight stay but the doc and the hubby were insistent on having me rest.

After the surgery, I was not the best patient. I have pride issues and do not like to depend on others. It is really a point of contention because I do not like to stay still when there is always something to do at home. Eventually, I got to the point that I have to depend on others. The next week I received the results of my second surgery to be told that I had two more nodes positive but the good news was no more surgery!. 

At this point of my melanoma excitement, I have a tube sticking out of my thigh and looking forward to start treatment so that I can get this cancer out of me. The Providence of the Lord confuses me at points but I know everything will be okay!